1) (Attempt to) scrub the teeth
2) FURminate the hair (while licking up the floating fibers)
3) Apply zit cream to the little pink bubbles around the mouth
4) Run a rubbing alcohol-coated swab through the wrinkles
5) Dust anti-bacterial foot powder on the limb pits to prevent rashes
6) Wipe away any dripping eye juice
7) Acknowledge that, as a pug, one will always be at least slightly pathetic
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