Plans

Michael here. My final days in Lancaster are coming to a close. If I had known that I would live amongst the Amish 6 years ago, I would have laughed. Now I already feel a loss when I think about the place I spent my young adult years. I have dated, engaged, and married Bethany, graduated and unsuccessfully used my college diploma, then determined to leave - only to discover the thing that might really keep me here: the learning center at water street.

Those who know me might also know that I become very shy at times, and very outgoing at others. I enjoy myself a lot when I am outgoing, and I think I finally isolated what makes me outgoing: working with adults in a Christian learning atmosphere. I sensed this when I worked as a camp counselor, and a little as a tutor, but never so strongly and consistently as when I volunteered at water street. I know I will miss the mission, but at least I have ascertained what makes me tick. I count myself lucky: I don't think many people know what will make them happy. Now, I know.

This summer will be an enjoyable experience for many reasons. The hiking and camping will be a fun way to get in touch with my manly side (I write that a little tongue-in-cheek, but not entirely). The change of pace will be nice for my relationship with Bethany. Exploring the outdoors will be a wonderful way for me to recharge. However, I cannot help but see this as a retreat in the negative sense as well.

I have developed many relationships in Lancaster. Bethany has (until recently) enjoyed a wonderful job. Friends have started springing up. My volunteer time has been widening in scope. To leave now sends (inadvertently) the message that we do not care. It tells friends and colleagues that they are not as important as our wanderlust. It has already confused and hurt some, though all have been kind in their reception of the news.

Like a teenager who first pops-off to college, then to overseas mission work, then an advanced degree or military career, I feel like I am addicted to the moratoriums of western life. Here I am jetting off to Oregon when I could be starting my life's work in Pennsylvania. Why does my spirit still point west when I dislike the messages I send? Am I whipped? Apathetic? I would like to think not.

Man plans and God laughs. I learned that lesson when I tried to get through college then ended up on the wrong side of a lawsuit. Now, I find myself yearning for the lack of a plan, yet planning none-the-less. I want to zip out to Oregon, but now I have another purpose besides running away. I desire a future where I can 'volunteer' at missions for the rest of my life. If there is a way to do that, I want it to happen. Oregon seems to be the place where this search will start.

I have heard of the learning center in Portland and the work done throughout the state. I think I should start there. My short-term plan is to enjoy what Oregon can offer me. My long-term plan (which might even - gasp - involve more school) is to make a career out of what I have done the last 3 months in water street. I am excited, because no matter how far below my goal I fall, I know I will be joyful with my profession for the rest of my life. God willing.

Mike